All That

Have you ever had a friend that was having marital problems because their spouse travelled a lot? It’s human nature to look for somewhere else to place the blame, even if it means placing the blame on inanimate objects that their spouse participates in. Some spouses are away on business trips while others feel like a widow to golf, it’s easy to place the blame on your spouse’s activities. However, you should realize the truth. These activities aren’t really destroying your relationship. They’re just making any problems you’re already having worse.

Instead of seeking to blame travel for ruining your marriage, the wise plan is to ask yourself what the travel difficulties are telling you about your marriage. The situation can be likened to water pressing against a ship’s hull. Water can seep into holes present in the ship’s hull, but water can’t create the holes itself. So if your marriage is like this leaking ship, and all the travel is revealing the holes in your relationship, you need to figure out what those holes are and work on fixing them instead of blaming everything on travel.

There are plenty of married people who have gotten over these problems and gone on to lead happy lives. Some people even have spouses thousands of miles away because of military service. They too may have these holes in their relationships, but you certainly don’t think they would be justified for leaving their husband or wife because of it. Just like a military spouse, you shouldn’t leave a spouse that travels frequently for business.

You can use any alone time for self-reflection. Try to figure out ways that you can mend the things that are wrong with your marriage. For example, have you developed so many interests outside of your marriage while trying to fill the time when your spouse is away that you have no time for him or her when they are at home? Your spouse will undoubtedly be looking forward to seeing you. If you don’t have time when they return, it will likely cause problems in the marriage. If you care about your marriage, you’ll do your best to prevent this. Make the most of your time together working to strengthen the bonds that hold you together. Doc No. hlsoehasl-sldhgt

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