Dealing With Infidelity As Opposed to Monogamy in a Modern Society

In dealing with infidelity as opposed to monogamy in a modern society, there are many who will claim that mankind was never meant to be monogamous. However, the combination of society and religious pressures throughout history has molded us into a society of expected fidelity and monogamy.  Whether right or wrong should not be considered as  relevant when dealing with infidelity. When people make a personal commitment to each other to be faithful, and monogamy becomes the strictly adhered to yard stick to govern their union, dealing with infidelity as opposed to monogamy in a modern society, should never become a contentious issue.

However, evidence has been revealed in recent years that suggests a sexual revolution has been slowly building in momentum and now seems to be cascading toward a renaissance of unfaithfulness and infidelity. Dealing with infidelity has become more common, and monogamy somehow seems to be of less import then it once was, yet more and more people are seeking advice on dealing with infidelity.

What was once considered strictly clandestine behavior is progressively becoming a more open act where couples are now seeking to sexually express themselves beyond the previously accepted limits of traditional marriage.

While basic animal sexual instincts and impulses are stronger in some than in others, the influence of personal circumstances such as long term absence, social, psychological and physical incompatibility or a myriad of other reasons, may cause one or both of the partners to seek alternative company. This in itself has prompted psychologists and counselors alike to provide advice to those of their clients who are looking for methods to use in dealing with infidelity.

For many years couples have felt a conflict between their acknowledged and accepted monogamous marital standard, and that of their personal inclinations and instincts. While many younger couples are confident in their somewhat arrogant youth, that they can easily endure a lifetime of blissful monogamy, it has been has been suggested that realistically, the majority of people are simply not meant to be so. This can be easily seen by the abysmal divorce rate as well as the emotional upheaval that many couples suffer throughout their marriage or relationship in having to confront the task of dealing with infidelity. The very idea that at some time in their lives, they may have to personally deal with infidelity rarely seems to be of importance.

Recent studies carried out in the United States indicate that the practice of ignoring the ideals of monogamy is far more common than was once thought. Surveys carried out under the auspicious banner of “Societal Idealization” over the past 40 years have returned results that revealed that at least 37%  of men and 29% of women have indulged in extramarital sex at some time during the first 12 years of their relationship or marriage. And this once again is finding many couples in a situation where dealing with infidelity as opposed to monogamy in a modern society is becoming a major issue.

Nevertheless, it’s also been indicated that there are many couples both heterosexual and homosexual who hold the ideal that by restricting their sexuality to the their individual relationship alone, and designating that bond as an expression of commitment to one and other, they are in effect creating an atmosphere of security and stability to their lives.


By providing comfort within an emotionally charged relationship governed by a mutually agreed upon state of strict monogamy and fidelity without ever having to face the stringent test of dealing with infidelity as opposed to monogamy in a modern society.

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Mike Upton

Author: Mike Upton
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Provided by: Guest blogger

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