Help to save marriage that is doomed is not a cry any couple expects to make in their loving relationship. A difficult marriage is not planned or trained for. Often times couples even see marriages that have failed and think “that will never be us”. Then, one day five or 10 years down the road bride and groom feel like their marriage is doomed and they start looking for help to save their marriage.
Ok, to be honest, anyone who is married and gone through some ups and downs, which is normal, generally smiles or laughs when a couple says “our marriage will never have problems like other marriages”. It’s a shame such couples have no idea what lies ahead. If only we could get a glimpse of the future on our wedding day. How many of us would still go through with the wedding?
So what should you do to help save a marriage that is doomed?
The first suggestion I would make is that you share this information with your spouse. It’s better that both of you work together to help save your marriage. If your spouse doesn’t know you feel that your marriage is doomed, now may be a good time to start discussing your relationship.
The second thing I would suggest is that you take an inventory of your marriage and see where things stand. I know it sounds scary, but if you don’t see what you have and what’s missing, you will have a difficult time saving your marriage. It’s like being on a road trip and knowing where you want to go but refusing to look at the directions of how to get there. Be honest, respectful and think before you speak.
The inventory discussion should be almost like checking off a list in a warehouse. Get the list together without discussing each one or trying to defend how you feel. If you do you will get stuck trying to solve the problems and may never get a chance to understand the root causes. This isn’t a finger pointing discussion but a way for you to work together to help save a marriage that is doomed.
The next suggestion I would make to help you save a marriage that is doomed is stop doing things that angers your spouse. You know what makes your spouses blood boil. This is the same person who you would have given your life for on your wedding day. Why do or say things that make your spouse get angry. Keep your spouse from being frustrated and angry over your behaviors that make it harder to save your marriage.
I don’t know what the heavy issues are in your marriage but I do know that there is not one obstacle that together you can’t overcome. The key is to be committed to saving your marriage by any means necessary.
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