How I Kept My Marriage Together

I presume that you stumbled upon this article because you are looking for ways on how to save a marriage.Regardless of your intent in looking for some marital advice: whether you have a friend who is experiencing some problems with their spouse or you are having your own marital problems, I encourage you to read on. While I am not claiming myself to be a marriage expert, I have been in that situation once myself and thankfully I have moved out of it with my family still intact. I guess that such experience, which I will be discussing in this article, can provide you valuable insight to your marital problems and how to address them.

I got married in my early twenties, 23 to be specific. My significant other is 10 years older than me, but during that time when I was still courting her, and even in our 1st 2 years of married life, that age gap has never been an issue. However, this changed three years into our marriage. We bickered a lot and the recurrent theme of our arguments are about issues related to our age difference such as dissimilarities in how we spend our free time, lifestyle, moral values, and even libido. This 10 year age difference also made her particularly leery of my female colleagues who are of the same age as me. My wife usually went into a jealous rage whenever I tell her that my office buddies and I are going out for a drink.

These frequent arguments strained our marriage, and it came to a point that I had enough and decided to leave the house for a while. I lived in a motel for more or less fourteen days, and occupied myself with books about how to save a marriage. Reading those books gave me a good insight to the problem. I had several realizations and one of them was that my partner wasn’t the sole source of our relationship difficulties. For the most part, it was my reluctance to talk about the problem and my cluelessness that made the problem worse. If she was in a jealous rage, I usually react to her behavior by being nonchalant or defensive, instead of reassuring her. Also, whenever I went out with friends, I rarely invited her to come along. I also learned how important flirting and foreplay is to women which made me realize why my wife wasn’t as happy with our impromptu carnal encounters.

Armed with those new insights I returned home, asked my wife for forgiveness, and invited her to a romantic dinner, to which she obliged. We talked about our differences, attentively listening and not interrupting her while she said her piece.

From that day onwards, I make it a point to let her know how I feel and that I am thinking of her by sending her love quotes through SMS, or writing messages on post-its, which are occasionally naughty, and placing them in objects and areas of the house she uses or goes to regularly. I now bring her to night outs with friends and always show genuine interest to her especially if female officemates are around. We also make it a point to have a dinner once a week, and travel out of town during our anniversaries.

Now, we are already in our eighth year as a married couple, and blessed with 4 year-old twins. Each day, I am thankful to have them, and my love for them grows ever deeper as days go by.

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