If you are in a marriage in crisis, you may not know where the problem even came from. Your spouse may want a divorce or may admit to not loving you anymore. No matter what’s going on, this is a painful and confusing time in your life. If you have never faced this type of crisis, you probably are sure how you should react, but actually being in that situation, may make you forget who you are.
There are a few things that you can remember to help you get through a dilemma of this sort without ending your marriage.
Marriage in Crisis, What To Do?
Sometimes You Have to Give More than Fifty Percent
Most couples believe that in order to have a successful marriage, the relationship has to be 50/50. However, if your spouse wants to end the marriage and no longer shares your goals, you will have to put in more than that fifty percent to heal your marriage in crisis.
When your spouse asks for a separation or divorce or says that the love isn’t there anymore, there is still a possibility that your marriage can be saved. It can even be better if you can just get past this crisis. No relationship is perfect all of the time. Look at your relationship as a wave in the ocean which have a peak and then drops down. There is a chance that the relationship will make it to the next peak if you remain positive and do all that it takes to make the marriage work.
Practice Identifying “Justification”
It may seem that your mate is very angry and complains about all you have done and said over the course of your relationship. Don’t think that his complaints are truly the reason that he wants the relationship to end. If your partner feels guilt over the situation, he may use anger in order to justify the decision he has made. The more complaints that are made against you, the less likely it is that they are truly the reason for the crisis. You should be careful to not take what other people say about you too seriously.
Make Changes to Other Areas of Your Life
While you probably don’t want to change careers now, this is the perfect time to become involved in a hobby that interests you. Do something you enjoy, and yes you can find something because not everything in your life is not negative and related to your marriage. If you take on a new challenge, it will give you more self confidence, and your spouse may view you as more interesting.
Give Your Spouse the Space Needed
If your mate is determined to end the marriage, the worst thing you can do is follow them, constantly call them or be a bother at their workplace. You can’t expect them to work through their issues if they don’t get the chance to sort out their feelings of confusion. Don’t demand that they express their thoughts; give them the opportunity to answer that for themselves. It may be that the decision your spouse made was based simply on having a feeling of “loss of self.” If this is the case, they may just need some time, and then they will think differently about ending the marriage.
Working through a marriage in crisis may take a great deal of time. A spouse that wants the relationship to end may have issues that she has to work on before coming to a decision about the marriage. If you are committed to saving your marriage, there is hope that you can get through this crisis without a divorce.