Discover what men really think about sex, dating, relationships, and you. Plus, get more great dating advice!
What He’s Thinking
Men like to cuddle.
Cuddling is all about mood and ambiance. It’s peaceful to lie in someone’s arms in the dark with great music or even the low buzz of the TV in the background. It’s nice to hear nothing but your lover’s breath against the backdrop of the evening or early morning. Holding someone close in bed also makes you feel very secure with one another and the relationship.
Men think they are good in bed.
Men are taught that confidence solves just about anything. You can be making a total mistake, but as long as you’re confident, it will turn out okay. This may explain why we are so clueless at what we are doing in bed, but we act like we know.
Getting too tipsy on a date is a turnoff.
Some people turn into a completely different person when they are drunk. Let the other person learn about you while you’re sober, before you get wasted with them. Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly, but if a drink or two takes the edge off, and wine adds romance it’s fine. Just don’t push it too far.
Heavy makeup is a turnoff.
Many guys appreciate a natural look as it is, and when a girl does her makeup well, the results can be magical. But the one thing that should never happen is excessive application: too much, too many colors, or if it’s just a botched attempt at a good makeup technique. Seems like as time goes by, makeup makes like the earth and erodes and changes with weathering. There is nothing more ghastly than makeup run amuck in the morning after spending the night together.
Men put pressure on ourselves to get married.
Women say that they feel more pressure to settle down because they can’t have children as easily past a certain age.
Men want to bail the morning after a one-night stand.
Do not linger in bed hung over. Men can be foul when hung over. You can’t contaminate someone’s bed with that. Do everything you can to get home and fester in your own bed. People have things to do over the weekend. Give each other a hug, wish each other well, don’t say anything about calling, and don’t believe him when he mutters that he will call you.
Women will never understand their sports obsession.
There are some women who love sports. But are they as obsessed with sports like guys are? Guys can read about sports every day, and go over stats. There is no reason women wouldn’t understand or know sports like guys do if they were as obsessed. It’s just that guys across the board are more sports-obsessed than women are.
Sex in the shower is overrated.
That “up against the wall” variation is tougher than it sounds. The entire shower apparatus is so slippery, and then you have soap all over the place. It’s a danger zone.
Men think women are crazy sometimes, but only because it makes things easier for them.
Once they accepted that women were “crazy” (many older guys had insisted they were for years), it seemed to take a huge load of pressure off them. No longer were they trying to rationalize moves that women made that got them into crazy analysis cycles. When they just throw it all out the window and dismiss it as “crazy,” it makes it easier to deal. Guys don’t really think women are insane, they just say it so they can be done thinking about their antics and move on.
Leave your baggage at the door.
Guys are happy to help out their girlfriends with emotional issues. But if the baggage becomes apparent too early in the relationship, then a guy will probably bail. Also, baggage causes people to put pressure on or damage a relationship, so it may be doomed from the outset.
Men are afraid of commitment.
Commitment means that they’ve decided that the woman they’re settling down with is perfect and there is no one else out there for them. Commitment means they’ve found their soul mate, that they are completely secure with themselves, and that there should be no going back. The old adage “Girls mature faster than boys” comes into play here. Commitment is a sign of maturity, and it just takes some of the guys longer.
Confidence is key in the bedroom.
Men know if a girl seems unsure of herself in bed, it gets distracting and starts to feel awkward. The best thing to do is to act like you have some experience, and not question anything.
Guys are insecure about dirty talk.
Once they’ve made it into bed with a girl, no way they’re going to let their stupid mouth wreck things. There are so many incorrect things they could say, from weak to gross to just downright bizarre. Last thing they need is to give this girl some material for a girls’ night conversation.
Sometimes, men do blame women bad mood on PMS.
But if men are smart, they just don’t say it. Honestly, sometimes a woman’s anger does look hormonal. Guys learned not to make things worse by suggesting that girls are PMSing.
Men get jealous because they’re insecure.
If a guy feels like he does not deserve a woman or is not good enough for her, he will become jealous easily and worried that he’s going to lose her to another guy. On the other hand, some admit that they have tried to make girls they’re interested in jealous on purpose.
Men hate when women try too hard to be one of the guys.
It’s pretty lame that buddies invent words and languages and then giggle over them like schoolchildren. But what’s even lamer: when some outsider tries to use the language, without the ability to contribute.
Men notice what women are wearing.
Make sure you cater what you wear to what you’re doing. Guys try not to make a girl walk too much if she’s in heels. Also, girls can wear pearls and a nice blouse to trashy outdoor drinking events, or heels to sporting events.
Sex on the beach?
Guys prefer the drink. The sea is very romantic, but they would be too nervous the entire time. There are all sorts of creatures out there. Maybe it’s safer on shore? No way: because sand gets into everything. It has a mind of its own. Sand makes sex uncomfortable and even painful. The solution is to try to get a place by the beach and do it out on the porch where you can see and hear the waves: Sex at the beach, but not on the beach.
Men play hard to get — and they know it.
Sometimes, men just act like they have no chance, even though they might like them. They openly flirt with other girls in front of them, and talk about how hot other girls are in front of them. Men make themselves look really picky and difficult to get to. Then, they get really tender and give all of their attention to this girl who thought she had no chance.
Men check out other women (even if they’re in relationships)
Sorry, but guys notice a hot girl any time any place. Hopefully most of them don’t make it obvious, but they check out a cutie when they can. The worst is if the younger sister or best friend is hot, they’ll check her out too.
Sometimes men like being told what to do
One of the reasons men won’t commit is because they don’t want to be told what to do. But, it’s no secret that they don’t like to think, and they struggle with details. So when you tell them clearly what to do, how to do it, and map it out for them, they can go about accomplishing a task without anxiety.
Also, if they follow your directions precisely and you’re still unsatisfied, then you’re more unsatisfied with the directions you gave them, and not their execution of the instructions.
Men cry and have emotional moments with their buddies
Men do cry — they just try not to do it in front of anyone. They shed tears when they think about old memories, or see something sad on TV, or a song hits them just the right way.
Men are sensitive about their weight
They may feel fat because they haven’t been able to get to the gym as much as they’d like to, and they see their gut expanding faster than the universe. Even though they think that women are OK with a bit of a guy on a guy, they still worry about their weight. And yes, they do wonder if certain clothes make them look fat.
Guys fear growing older
This is explicitly linked to their weight sensitivity. As they get older, they gain weight, they lose our hair, they get tired faster, and younger guys look better in their presence. It’s especially painful for athletic guys who can’t quite do the things they used to do physically. They go through depressions, mid-life crises, etc. until finally they just give up.
Men say they’ll call even if they don’t mean it
They always say they’ll call, because it’s the nice thing to say. It’s almost as thoughtless as the “fine” answer when someone asks them how we’re doing. Would you rather them say: “Look, I’m not planning to call you?” And sometimes at that very moment they say they’ll call, they do mean it, but then after 24 hours they change their mind after sleeping on it.