Can you stop your divorce without help? Saving marriage can be a challenge even when both spouses are involved. How can one person expect to do the job? Surprisingly, it is possible. Let’s look at why you can save your marriage even if your counterpart isn’t an enthusiastic participant in the process.
First, let’s look at the conventional wisdom. The old school of thought argues that it makes sense for both spouses to work together to save a marriage. Marriages are partnerships and it reasonably follows, they say, that teamwork is necessary when marriages face difficult times.
That perspective has a simple, face value appeal. It sounds right. However, it isn’t. Think about the most common way for couples to work together to save a marriage–counseling. Here’s a shocking finding: According to at least one highly respected relationship expert, only 20% of those who undergo couples’ therapy successfully solve their problems. That’s right, only 20%.
Clearly, the traditional way of thinking isn’t working. That’s because it forces someone into action who isn’t yet ready. It creates an unnecessary additional stressor and may encourage resentment.
It is possible for one person to do the job. Saving marriage can be a solo act. Here’s why it works.
Let’s start with an admittedly abstract comparison. A relationship can be viewed like an equation from one of our old high school algebra equations. Remember those? If you changed the value of any variable on the left side of the equation, it would automatically result in a change of value on the right side. Action on any one element of the equation transformed it completely.
It’s the same with a marriage. When one person creates change, it causes a change throughout the entire marriage. If Spouse 1 does something it inevitably impacts Spouse 2. Both parties are inextricably tied and the appropriate behavior from one person can result in the right reaction from the other.
Thus, if you try saving marriage alone, all it takes is a solid understanding of what actions to take. I know it might seem somewhat theoretical and abstract, but it works. And it works well. One method that claims you can save your marriage alone maintains that users experience a remarkable 80% rate of success. That means they’re four times as likely to succeed at saving marriage than those who go to joint therapy.
Your relationship is not doomed. Even if you’re the only one interested in making things work, you can save your marriage.
By following a smart, professional and proven plan designed to effectively save a marriage, you can make your relationship much stronger and better than it has ever been!