Posts Tagged ‘miserable marriage’
Not Every Issue Deserves to Result in an Argument…Learn to Choose Your Battles Wisely. Some husbands and wives make the mistake of allowing every little disagreement to become a huge issue. Instead, learn to save marriage problems for the issues that are truly important. Below is some advice to help couples learn to do just that.
Expect to Disagree
If you go into marriage expecting to always see eye to eye with your spouse then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It is just not realistic to think that you will always agree. If you expect such disagreements then you will not be so surprised when they come up which will make you better able to deal with them in a way that will not cause excessive arguing in your marriage, and let you save marriage problems for the more serious issues that may come along.
Be Willing to Compromise
Adults are supposed to understand that they cannot always have their own way. This basic truth holds true in a marriage. You must be willing to give in sometimes. If you always demand your own way then you are not going to have a happy marriage. Is your spouse so unimportant that he or she never deserves to have his or her way on any issue? Do you want to be the ruler in the relationship or do you want a partnership? If you think you want to be the boss then understand that you are setting yourself up for a miserable marriage that will likely end in divorce. There must be compromise in order for a marriage to survive.
Choose Your Battles
If couples could properly apply this principle, it would be so much easier to save marriage counseling for the issues that deserved such attention. As mentioned earlier, some husbands and wives turn every little thing into a major argument. That is very childish behavior and is not conducive to nurturing a healthy relationship. Some couples actually spend money in marriage counseling talking about how he didn’t take out the trash or she talked too much while he was watching the game. They are essentially spending hundreds of dollars an hour to discuss the trash.
Instead, couples need to learn to look at the big picture. Yes, the trash needs to be taken out, but would you be willing to walk away from the marriage over it? If not then do not engage in behavior that could, potentially, harm the marriage. Save marriage battles for the issues that are truly important.
Learn to Apologize
Learning to apologize is another important skill that can help couples save marriage troubles for only the most serious issues. Some men and women are so stubborn that they do not apologize even when they know that they are wrong. Such behavior is unhealthy and contributes to feelings of bitterness and anger. Instead, learn to admit when you are wrong. Doing so can often put a quick end to arguments and allow the couple to move on.