Posts Tagged ‘struggle’
All couples struggle and all couples have problems. As such, all couples will need to know how to solve problems in marriage without the sort of struggle that worsens the marital woes. The happiest couples look to be the ones who air their differences and still argue over their problems. But the dispute between divorced couples and happy couples is that the latter recognize how to combat fair, struggle positive and fight in a loving manner even when the problems seem to be insurmountable for the formers’ standards.
Here are the ways that you can resolve marital problems without the destructive fights that might result to the breakup of your marriage.
Agree to Disagree Throughout the early stages of your relationship and well into your engagement, you ought to have discovered the 1st rule of how to resolve problems in marriage without destructive fights – agree to disagree. Even when you are insanely, irresponsibly and helplessly in love with each other, you will get personality quirks, habits and attributes that the other will not like, much less love. However that does not imply that you do not love and you are not in love with each other either.
You will simply have to become skilled at agree to disagree. You will strive to realize the other person’s point of view according to his past experiences, present expectations and potential aspirations in the similar way that you also want your spouse to see your own point of view. When you have very great understanding on both your sides, you are correctly on your way to adopting the ways how to stop a separation without the petty fights.
Watch Your Negative Emotions It is a normal human reaction to slash out against an object or subject of damaging emotions from mere frustration to brutal fury. Your spouse may have committed a minor transgression like using the credit card for an unnecessary purchase or a big sin like having an adulterous affair. You are justified in your feelings of frustration, rage and other negative emotions because these are all normal for humans.
But you may not be justified in engaging in a onslaught of intense wrath, scathing criticism and emotional mangle of your partner. Your spouse will not be expected to simply sit back, relax and let the maltreatment continue for he/she is only human, too. And so the bitter fights start and this is definitely not the proper way how to stop a separation.
Rather than, discuss your marital problems in a calm, cool and composed way. It will be hard, of course, but you must both work at it because there are no winners in a yelling match – only losers and perhaps entertained neighbors that are the only ones getting each of your sides. Merely try to keep your anger levels down and start getting your loving levels upward.
Last but not least, go for a win-win solution. You will not be cheerful even when you win in a loving fight but you will be happy when your mate is happy as well. At last, the best way how to solve problems in marriage is to approach these problems as a team and then arrive out as a stronger whole.